zuru zuru zuru zuru

I guess this is one of those less cheery posts...like those countless pictures dispersed my small moments of happiness on tumblr haha and thanks to the few people who've asked about me and kept me alive :) I wont name since some of you are 'anonymous'..but truly thanks for noticing :)
zuru zuru zuru zuru - i dont think many of you would know where this comes from or what movie I directly quote from...but much of my days can be described with it...the same things in and out of my head, the constant sleeping napping in the afternoon/evening to try and clear my head. I dont know what to think anymore, its always the same questions and thought, kinda really pestering nowadays..and I guess I am to blame but I'm trying and failing quite hard and I just have no idea what to do, think or say anymore, maybe its time to start digging deeper or maybe its just time to make a hard decision.

*if you're still searching..zuru zuru is the japanese onomatopoeia for dragging